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A Guide to Understanding Parenting Time and Custody
What every separating parent in BC needs to know about parenting time, guardianship, and building a co-parenting schedule that works.
When a relationship ends and children are involved, the parenting arrangement becomes the most important part you'll work out together. And often, it’s the hardest. Emotions run high, and and it can feel unclear how to create a plan with the children’s best interests in mind.
This guide is here to help you understand what parenting time is, how to structure a schedule, and what goes into building a plan that works so you can approach those decisions with more clarity and less overwhelm.
Custody & Legal Terminology
Custody and legal terminology
For years people used the term custody, but the language of family law in BC has evolved to better reflect modern parenting arrangements. In the Federal Divorce Act, custody was replaced with the terms decision-making responsibility and parenting time; and contact and parenting time are used instead of the word access.
Most people, when they think of “custody” they think of a shared parenting time arrangement. In the Family Law Act, custody is referred to as parenting responsibilities and actually outlines a variety of parenting aspects including how parents will make important decisions about a child’s well-being, health, education, and general upbringing.
For the purposes of this guide, we’ll be referring to the section of parenting responsibilities that pertain to parenting time and parenting time arrangements.
Why parenting arrangements are the first priority
If you're working through a separation that involves both finances and children, it’s important to start with parenting. Not because the money doesn't matter, but because your decisions about your kids should be driven by what's right for them, not by what makes the financial settlement easier.
As a practical reason, some financial calculations, including child support, depend directly on how parenting time is structured. Putting the parenting plan in place first gives you the foundation everything else builds on.
What guardianship means and why it matters
When a relationship ends and children are involved, the parenting arrangement becomes the most important part you'll work out together. And often, it’s the hardest. Emotions run high, and and it can feel unclear how to create a plan with the children’s best interests in mind.
This guide is here to help you understand what parenting time is, how to structure a schedule, and what goes into building a plan that works so you can approach those decisions with more clarity and less overwhelm.
Stepparents and guardianship
If the parents never lived together, the parent who didn't live with the child is not automatically a guardian. Guardianship can still be established by agreement or court order, and once it is, decisions about parenting time can follow.
Stepparents sit in a different category. They are not considered parents under the law and cannot agree to joint guardianship. A non-parent can only become a guardian to a child if it’s court-approved. A stepparent can still have meaningful time with a child, but legally this is referred to as contact time rather than parenting time.
Understanding Primary vs Shared Parenting
There are two ways parenting time gets structured, and knowing the difference helps you figure out which direction makes sense for your family.
Primary parenting is when one parent has the child in their care more than 60% of the time. One parent is the main caregiver, and the other has scheduled parenting time. This works well when a child genuinely benefits from one consistent home base, or when a parent's work schedule or location makes equal sharing impractical.
Shared parenting is when both parents each have the child more than 40% of the time. These arrangements are increasingly common, and for good reason. When children spend meaningful time with both parents, they get to build close relationships with both and feel genuinely cared for by each parent. Shared parenting tends to work best when parents live near each other or near the child's school, when both are committed to making transitions smooth, and when both are willing to stay organized around the child's activities and schedule.
Neither is automatically better than the other. The right structure is the one that fits your specific circumstances, your child's needs, and both parents' real capacity to make it work consistently.
Determining a schedule according to age and development
Psychologists have general guidance about what tends to work at different stages of childhood, and while you know your child best, these are useful starting points.
Younger children, generally under 8, tend to do better with shorter, more regular time with each parent rather than long stretches away from either one. Children 10 to 11 and older are typically ready for longer periods with each parent. The 8 to 12 range is genuinely transitional: maturity and development vary so much at this age that individual assessment matters more than any general rule.
Building a co-parenting schedule that works
Start with consistency
Most families do better with a schedule that is consistent and predictable. Children settle into routines more easily when they know what to expect, and parents manage their own lives more effectively when the calendar is clear. A structured arrangement also reduces the ongoing, day-to-day negotiation that quietly becomes its own source of conflict over time.
When flexibility is the right call
Not every family can operate on a fixed schedule, and that's okay. If one parent works shifts, travels regularly, or has a work life that changes week to week, a more general agreement may serve the family better than a rigid one. Flexible language in an agreement might look something like this:
"Avery will reside primarily with Alex, and Jordan will have reasonable and generous parenting time, including three overnights per week with times and days to be agreed upon between the parties."
This keeps intent clear while leaving room for flexibility.
Use school as a transition point
One of the most practical tools for reducing conflict at parenting exchanges is building transitions around the school day. When a child moves from one parent's home in the morning and arrives at the other's in the afternoon, the school day serves as a natural buffer. It gives the child a normal, structured middle ground between two homes, and it reduces the direct parent-to-parent interaction at handoff that can sometimes be tense.
What every plan needs to cover
Whatever structure you land on, a complete parenting plan will address your default everyday schedule, how holidays, special days, and school breaks will be handled, travel arrangements and any required notice, and a plan for what happens when the regular schedule needs to change.
Divii's parenting time planner walks you through each of these components and lets you build a visual schedule, run different scenarios, and see exactly how a proposed arrangement would actually look across a two-week rotation, before you commit to anything.
Putting your agreement in writing
A parenting plan only becomes a real, enforceable agreement when it's documented in your Separation Agreement. That document is what protects both of you, and more importantly, it's what protects your children by giving everyone a clear, agreed-upon plan to follow.
Once you've worked through your parenting arrangement, the financial side of your separation, including child support, can follow. You'll be building from a solid foundation, with your child’s best interests in mind, rather than trying to do everything at once.
Related Reading: What is a Separation Agreement and Why Do You Need One? | Divii's Parenting Time Planner | How to Structure a Primary Parenting Time Schedule | Shared Parenting Time Schedules: What They Are and How to Choose One | Parenting Time Schedules: How to Handle Holidays & Special Occasions
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your situation, consult a qualified family lawyer in British Columbia.
COMMON QUESTIONS
FAQs About Co-Parenting Schedules
Parenting time refers to the time a child spends in the care of each parent. In BC, the term "custody" has largely been replaced in family law by "parenting time" and "parenting responsibilities," which more accurately reflect the practical reality of how separated parents share the care of their children.
Not automatically. Both parents remain guardians after separation by default, but parenting time is something you work out together as part of your parenting plan. The arrangement you reach should reflect your child's best interests, your respective circumstances, and both parents' ability to make the schedule work.
It does not mean determining who the better parent is. It means making decisions focused on your child's emotional well-being, safety, relationships, and developmental needs. The law recognizes that children generally benefit from meaningful time with both parents and that separation should not get in the way of that.
Primary parenting is when one parent has the child more than 60% of the time. Shared parenting is when both parents each have the child more than 40% of the time. Neither arrangement is automatically better. The right structure depends on your child's needs, your circumstances, and both parents' capacity to make it work consistently.
The most important factors are your child's age and developmental stage, their emotional well-being, the history of care they're used to, the safety of each home environment, where each parent lives relative to the child's school, and both parents' work schedules and availability.
Yes. A parenting plan only becomes enforceable when it is documented in your Separation Agreement. Without it in writing, there is no clear plan to follow and no legal protection if a dispute arises later.
You can use more general language in your agreement rather than a fixed schedule. For example, an agreement might state that one parent has primary residence while the other has reasonable and generous parenting time including a set number of overnights per week, with specific days to be agreed upon between the parties.
The best time to revisit your arrangement is when family life feels calm and settled. Stable periods allow both parents to think clearly about what is working and what might need adjusting. Trying to renegotiate a schedule during a period of conflict rarely leads to good outcomes for anyone.