Parenting Time Schedules: How to Handle Holidays & Special Occasions

Here's how to plan for holidays and special occasions in your parenting agreement so they don't become a recurring source of conflict.

You can include your plan for holidays and special days in your Separation Agreement.

Regular schedule vs holiday schedules

Your regular parenting schedule handles the general schedule for most of the year. Once you have your regular schedule established, it’s important to consider how your parenting time schedule will be impacted by holidays and special occasions such as birthdays, holidays, and school breaks. Since these days often come with emotional importance for many families, without a plan for them, they can often become a recurring source of conflict.

The good news is that holiday planning doesn't have to be contentious. By planning in advance, you can put arrangements in place that will help avoid conflict and give everyone a fair, established plan for the year.

Two ways to approach holidays

When it comes to recurring holidays, there are two basic approaches to choose from and you can decide whether or not you apply the same approach to every occasion.

1. Maintain the default schedule. You have the option to maintain your default parenting time schedule for reoccurring holidays. This means whoever has regular parenting time on a given holiday automatically keeps the children for that day.

2. Suspend the default schedule. This means the holiday becomes neutral territory, meaning neither parent automatically has the children that day. Instead, you specify in your Separation Agreement exactly which parent has the children on that day, or how the day gets divided. This approach requires more detail upfront but reduces the need for ongoing negotiation.

The right choice depends on your family. Some co-parents handle flexibility well and prefer to plan together as each holiday approaches. Others do better with clear, predetermined arrangements so there's nothing left to negotiate later.

Common holiday arrangements

Alternating years

One of the most popular approaches is alternating which parent has the children for specific holidays each year. One parent might have the children for Thanksgiving in odd years while the other has them in even years. Over time this creates a fair distribution without requiring the same conversation every year.

Consistent annual arrangements

Some families find it more practical to create an arrangement where one parent always has the children for certain holidays. This works particularly well when parents have different traditions, live in different cities, or when logistics make one arrangement significantly more sensible than the other.

Extended holiday periods

Many parenting plans include provisions in their Separation Agreement for extending parenting

time when a parent already has the weekend adjacent to a holiday. A long weekend becomes a longer stretch, which can feel more meaningful for both parent and child and reduces the number of transitions during an already busy time.

Thinking through specific occasions

Not every holiday needs the same level of planning. Long weekends like Labour Day and Victoria Day often hold less weight than major occasions like Christmas, birthdays, and spring break, which tend to matter more and need more specific arrangements.

You can also treat each holiday on its own. Your family might be comfortable staying flexible about long weekends while keeping firm, predetermined plans for the major holidays that matter most to your family. The choice is entirely yours based on what works for your family.

Flexible vs structured approach

Some families who have strong a co-parenting relationship and good communication skills prefer a flexible approach to planning holidays. For some co-parents, planning too far in advance isn’t always possible and they prefer to plan together throughout the year.

If you go this route, the key is being proactive. Waiting until a couple weeks before Christmas to figure out the plan can cause unnecessary conflict even in the best scenarios.

A common approach that works well for many co-parents is scheduling a few seasonal planning conversations throughout the year. Some families meet at the beginning of December to sort out the winter holidays and extracurriculars in the new year, then again in August before the school year starts to address the upcoming term. These regular check-ins keep both parents informed and reduce last-minute arrangements. Again, flexibility works well when both parents communicate openly and consistently.

Week on, week off families

If you follow a week on, week off schedule, holiday planning is often simpler than it is for other arrangements. Because both parents already have full weeks including weekends, school breaks can frequently be split evenly without major disruption to the regular rotation. Many families on this schedule find they can maintain their default arrangement for most holidays with only minor adjustments for the bigger occasions.

Planning your holiday schedule in Divii

Divii's Holiday Schedule template in the Parenting Time Planner makes it straightforward to work through each occasion one at a time. You can specify arrangements in writing, use the visual calendar to see how holidays affect your overall parenting time, add notes to clarify the details of any particular day, and build a complete holiday plan that gets incorporated directly into your Separation Agreement.

A plan you can both count on

Holiday planning isn't about competing for time. It's about giving your children consistency and predictability and allowing your family to have a shared understanding of how they will spend holidays and special occasions without all the drama that can come from last-minute planning.

Take the time to work through your parenting time schedule as you create your Separation Agreement. Having a plan in place can prevent future conflict and create a peace of mind for you and your family.

Continue reading: A Guide to Parenting Time in BC | Shared Parenting Schedules: What They Are and How to Choose One | How to Structure a Primary Parenting Time Schedule | Divii Parenting Time Planner

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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your situation, consult a qualified family lawyer in British Columbia.

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