What to Know When Hiring a Family Lawyer During Your Separation

Rebecca Alleyne
2 days ago
4 min read

Understanding your options and choosing the right fit for your separation process.

A woman meeting with a professional getting advice.

Hiring a lawyer during your separation

It can feel intimidating to start looking for a lawyer when you've decided to separate from your spouse, almost as if it’s an official start to a legal battle. But it doesn't have to be that way. Whether you are creating your own Separation Agreement on Divii using the hybrid legal approach, or choosing a lawyer-centred approach to your separation, it's helpful to go into the process knowing what to keep in mind when looking for a family lawyer.

When you separate from your spouse, understanding how to work with a family lawyer can make the difference between a smooth process and a costly, drawn-out ordeal. Here are some key points you need to know about hiring and working with a family lawyer during your separation:

What role does a family lawyer have in your separation?

A family lawyer is there to provide you with tailored guidance that will help you make informed decisions during the separation and divorce process. They help you understand the decisions you are making and documenting in your Separation Agreement. But what a lot of people don't know is that how much a lawyer is involved in your separation process is really up to you.

A man getting advice from a professional.

A lot of people make the mistake of retaining a lawyer and having them lead the whole process. For those that can afford that level of concierge-level service, then it’s nice to delegate everything to a lawyer. But you can also retain a lawyer to help you navigate your situation and provide advice along the way, without having them take charge of documents, communication, filling in the paperwork.

Think of your lawyer as a guide and advisor. You remain in control of your separation process, while utilizing their legal expertise and strategic counsel. Maintaining agency during the process vs. allowing your lawyer to have control the process often differentiates what kind of experience you have of the legal process.

Choose how much your lawyer is involved in the process

Legal advice is an important part of separation, but much of the early work involves gathering information, understanding how the law applies, and thinking through options. This preparatory work doesn't require legal expertise, though it does take time.

The question becomes: Who should do that work, and at what cost?

If you're using Divii, you complete that groundwork within the platform and start the process via hybrid approach. You gather documentation, organize financial information, learn how BC family law works, run calculations, explore scenarios, and create a comprehensive first draft of your Separation Agreement. When you're ready, you bring that complete package to a lawyer for review and independent legal advice. Your lawyer can focus on assessing fairness, identifying risks, and ensuring you understand what you're agreeing to, rather than spending time and money on communication, document prep, or administrative tasks.

If you prefer more lawyer involvement from the start, you still have choices about the process.

Mediation allows you and your spouse to plan and negotiate together with the help of a neutral third party who facilitates the discussion. Collaborative Family Law provides lawyer-assisted negotiation with additional support from financial advisors and child specialists when needed. Even in these processes, you can prepare beforehand by gathering documents and understanding the basics, which makes everything more efficient.

The process you choose makes a real difference. If you choose a lawyer who works collaboratively and focuses on resolution rather than conflict, you'll save significant time and money while preserving your ability to work together going forward.

How to choose the right family lawyer for you

You don't have to choose the first lawyer that comes up in an internet search. Take your time finding the right fit.

Talk to friends who've been through separation. Do an internet search and read reviews. Look for lawyers who emphasize the type of support and guidance you’ll value and need. You may choose to meet with a couple of different lawyers during a complimentary preliminary session before deciding who to work with more closely.

Many lawyers offer a 30 minute initial consultation at no cost. This differs from your first full consultation with your lawyer, which you’ll want to prepare for in advance. Use the initial consultation to understand their approach and whether it aligns with what you're looking for.

Working collaboratively with your lawyer

There are a lot of good collaborative-minded lawyers out there who look out for your best interests, lead you through the process and help you reach a resolution in a reasonable amount of time. Follow your instincts when it comes to choosing your lawyer. It has to be a good fit before you commit to the process.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For advice specific to your situation, consult a qualified family lawyer in British Columbia.

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