Make the most of your time and money with focused preparation.
Once you understand the role of your lawyer during your separation, it's important to use the time spent in their office and in correspondence with them strategically. Most people don't know what to expect before going into a consultation with their lawyer. Often, people end up going in blind and spending hundreds of dollars to tell a lawyer their story. But much of what you want to share with your lawyer can be considered irrelevant. The time spent with your lawyer should be focused.
If you are using the hybrid legal approach to your separation, you should already be fully prepared to meet with your lawyer.
Regardless of the process or approach you choose, here are some essential things to keep in mind when preparing to meet with your lawyer for the first time:
Do your research first
Learn how BC family law works before you arrive. Your lawyer's time should be for your situation, not for explaining concepts you could have read on your own.
Gather your financial documents
Organize income records and a full list of assets and debts (yours, your spouse's, and joint) along with their current values.
Write down your questions
Prepare your list in advance and research what you can beforehand. Every minute counts, as lawyers often bill in six-minute increments.
Understand likely court outcomes
Ask your lawyer what a judge would likely decide in your situation. You probably won't go to court, but knowing this tells you where you can compromise and where to hold firm.
Clarify your goals and priorities
Know what matters most: time with your children, financial security, keeping the family home. This shapes every decision you'll make from here.
Stay focused on legal strategy
Keep the conversation on your legal position and options. Save the emotional debrief for a therapist or trusted friend. That's a far better use of $400+ an hour.
Do essential research before your meeting
There are a ton of resources out there that provide you with a general sense of how to move through your separation. Provinces often provide a wealth of information around the general law and what the legal process entails. If you are using Divii, you can read, learn, and watch videos about the process so that you have a good understanding of the general process so that the time spent with your lawyer can be dedicated to the tricky questions pertaining to your particular situation.
In general, the process is pretty straightforward. At the end of the process, you simply need a Separation Agreement that includes a parenting plan and child support (if you have children), spousal support, and property distribution. Understanding the law and how it works ahead of time helps you have more productive conversations with your lawyer.
Gather financial documents and asset information
Having all of your documents in order for the first meeting saves you the time and admin costs of organizing all your documentation with your lawyer later. Exchanging financial documents with your spouse is an important part of the process.
You will need to have information about your income and your spouse's income. You will also need to prepare a listing of all the assets and debts you have in your name, your spouse's name and in joint names. The values of these items are important, too.
If you're using Divii, the platform guides you through gathering this information systematically and generates organized summaries you can share with your lawyer. This preparation work is exactly the kind of thing that doesn't require legal expertise but takes time you'd otherwise be paying a lawyer to coordinate.
Write down your questions in advance
In advance, prepare a list of all the questions you have. Once you have your list outlined, see which ones you can research on your own so you can have a bit of background knowledge before you ask any questions. Remember, when meeting with a lawyer time really is money. In fact often down to 6 minute billing increments.
Having everything written out in advance will help ensure nothing is missed and that your conversation stays on track.
One area to focus on is asking your lawyer about likely outcomes in court for your situation. You likely won't be going to court, but it's helpful to know how courts realistically determine your legal matters so that you are informed when navigating negotiations. Understanding the likely outcomes ensures you have a real assessment of your situation. You will then know where to easily compromise and where to be firm in your discussions with your spouse.
Stay focused on legal strategy
The conversation with your lawyer should be focused on understanding your legal position. You may feel like venting, but try to save pouring out your feelings for a friend who isn't charging you $400+ an hour to listen to you.
If you're not working with Divii and choosing the hybrid approach, talk about what route you would like to take through your separation.
How you move forward will have an impact on how long you are working with your lawyer and how much money you spend, in addition to the impacts on your relationship with your children and soon-to-be coparent.
Clarify your goals and priorities before negotiating
Knowing what you want and your underlying values is important to establishing clarity through every stage of the process. It drives the conversation, and informs you and your spouse about what each other's values and goals are. Understanding each other's goals is how you ultimately achieve a good result for yourself and your children.
By knowing what's most important to you, you will be able to thoughtfully determine where to compromise and where to keep negotiating.
What matters most to you?
Time with your children, financial security, keeping the family home, or maintaining flexibility. Knowing this shapes every decision that follows.
Which issues are you willing to compromise on?
Not everything carries the same weight. Identifying where you have flexibility makes it easier to reach an agreement both of you can live with.
Which issues are non-negotiable for you?
These are the lines you need to hold. Being honest with yourself about them early saves you from agreeing to something you will regret later.
What does success look like for your family post-separation?
A clear picture of the life you want to build helps you make decisions that move you toward it, rather than just reacting to the pressure of the moment.
If you're using Divii, the platform includes visioning questionnaires that help you think through these questions systematically. Completing those exercises before meeting with a lawyer gives you real clarity about what you're working toward.
Moving Forward
A well-prepared consultation can give you clarity about your legal position, help you understand your options, and set you up for a more efficient separation process. When you arrive prepared with organized information and focused questions, your lawyer can immediately provide specific, grounded advice rather than spending billable time gathering basic facts or explaining concepts you could have learned on your own.
Whether you choose to involve a lawyer extensively or use legal advice strategically after handling most of the groundwork yourself with the hybrid legal approach, good preparation makes everything work better. You get better advice, make better decisions, and move through separation with greater confidence and clarity.
